Maybe I don’t pay The Coach enough compliments or maybe he feels guilty for only recently picking up on the chores he abandoned, or why else would he dance around me whenever I approach our bathroom, chortling, “Look how white the tiles are” or “Hmmm, ang bango ng banyo.”
I can’t blame him. I do my own share of fishing as well.
“Honey,” I asked one day when I felt bloated. “Am I beautiful?”
“Maganda ka naman,” he said. Stoutly.
“Naman?!?” I shrieked, piqued at the qualifier. “Why is there a naman?!?” The good man, never knowing what hit him, had to stop what he was doing to explain the ramifications of “naman.” Being Cebuana to the core, I didn’t believe him entirely. It would’ve been simpler if he had used the term “quite”—all I would’ve done was ask whether he was using the word in the American sense (somewhat) or the British sense (entirely).
But I never learn. Last night before we slept, I snuggled up to him and asked, “Honey, am I a good wife?”
“Of course you are, sweetie,” he said, readily but not too hastily or else I’d suspect it was a stock answer (I am impossible, am I not?).
“But I want to be a better wife,” I said.
“Okay,” he said, quick to the draw. “Then you wash the dishes.”
Remind me never to go fishing again.